Twilight
by NeoCD
Summary: Rachel said something to Finn after graduation that made him run away from her. After a year has gone by, Rachel vows to find him and patch up their broken relationship. And if she finds him, will he still love her? Finchel, future fic.
1. Aurora

**A/N: Okay so this is my first attempt at a glee fic, or any fic for that matter. Sorry for the first chapter being short, most likely the second one will be short as well, but hopefully the 3rd chapter and onward will be longer.**

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**_Twilight_**

**_

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_[June 21st, 2013]**

Finn laid there, on his back watching the Northern Lights illuminate the night sky in the bone chilling Alaskian weather. He sat his beer down in the snow and sighed heavily. He did this every night since he arrived in Alaska almost a year ago, just watching the fluorescent lights gleam across the sky. Red, Blue, Green, Purple, he loved all the colors that the mysterious force shined.

One thing he was thankful for was that it was never brown.

_Brown_, the color of her eyes.

He couldn't even eat chocolate any more without imagining her looking up at him and saying those words that killed him inside every time he thought of them. Finn closed his eyes as tears began to trickle down his face, his hand searched around for the bear bottle that he dug into the snow. He picked it up and let the burning liquid flow down his throat. He usually didn't take it this hard when he thought of the break-up (After he initially managed to stop crying after the first couple of months after the break-up.) but today was different.

Today was the 1 year anniversary of the break-up.

He sighed to himself as the red light seemed to have a brown tint coming over it. He knew he was just imagining it, but alas, her memory tainted the beautiful lights and he got up and began to walk back to his truck with a 5 pack of beer at hand. He used to hate drinking beer because of the taste and the negative affect it had on the liver (She had taught him that, and he mentally cursed himself for thinking of her again) He threw the beer in the tailgate of his truck and wiped away the tears that he didn't even know he let fall. He needed to get her off of his mind so he turned on his radio and wouldn't you know it, a Journey song started playing.

_"You make me weep and wanna die_

Boy, wasn't that the truth_.  
_

_Just when you said we'd try_

The lyrics made him wonder about what she said to him that day, before he could remember the part that made him cry like a little girl, someone blew their horn at him. This immediately made him lose his train of thought and he began to focus on the road._  
_

_Lovin', touchin', squeezin' each other..."_

He changed the station and he heard Phil Collins and Philip Bailey in mid-song of 'Easy Lover'

_"She's an easy lover, She'll take your heart but you won't feel it,"_

Bullshit, he felt _all_ of it. He turned the radio off as he passed the Lima, Alaska sign.

Yeah, he nearly drove off the road when he saw the sign 'Now entering Lima, Alaska' for the first time. It was ironic really, He managed to escape from becoming a Lima Loser in Ohio, but he couldn't escape from becoming a Lima Loser in Alaska. He laughed bitterly to himself and looked at it as a metaphor. No matter where he went, no matter how far he was from Lima, Ohio, he would still be a Lima Loser.

He actually liked being a Lima Loser, as weird as that sounds. He didn't have to try, he didn't have to aspire to be anything great. He didn't have to be pushed by that certain girl...

"Stop," He quietly said, aloud to his subconscious mind. He was getting worried that he was becoming a bit schizophrenic (She taught him what that word meant after she forced him to watch Oprah with her)

And there he goes thinking about _her_ again.

Part of him wanted to hate her and forget she ever existed, but the other part of him wanted to think about her all the time and missed her _so_ much it literally hurt. He could only classify this as the _'Moving on process'. _regardless of the differences the two sides of Finn had, they both really wished she felt as crappy as he did. He scoffed bitterly to himself_,_ she made it evident that day that she didn't care for him the way he cared about her_._

He pulled up into the small apartment complex parking lot, he got out and grabbed the 5-pack.

_I'm gonna need this for tonight_.

He lightly jogged up the stairs, pulled out his keys, and opened the door to his apartment. It was a warm welcome to come back home after a hard days work at the Auto-shop to a nice and cozy apartment.

It was a nice apartment, one bedroom, 2 bath, the works. The walls were a very dull gray color with no pictures or nick-knacks hanging on the wall. The only thing making the walls stand out was a framed acceptance letter to Lima University. It made him feel like he wasn't a_ total_ loser. He didn't want to think about why he didn't attend college, mainly because it brought him back to her.

Come to think of it, all of it was her fault. He wouldn't be sitting here 19 years old, working at a crappy Auto-shop in the middle of fucking Alaska, sulking cause his high school girlfriend broke up with him. Then again, it was better than attending college at Lima University were all of the people he went to high school with were going. After word got out about their break-up, Finn's phone exploded with Text messages saying "Tough break, man," "You two were so good together," "Dude, I knew Berry was crazy, but not _that_ crazy" (The last one was Puck's, and it cheered him up a little bit (Not really.)) And he just knew everyone at college was going to look at him like he was a beaten puppy.

And besides, Lima, Ohio had to many memories of her. The bowling alley, Choir room, The... well, it would be better to list off the places in Lima that _didn't_ remind him of her.

Even though they weren't the most popular couple at McKinley High, they definitely were the happiest. Hell, they were even voted "Most Likely to Get Married" in the 2012 edition of the _Thunderclap_.

_Enough thinking about her._

He dashed for the kitchen and grabbed the bottle opener and quickly pulled open the tab of one of the beer bottles he had in his hand, he then proceeded to chug the entire bottle and slammed it down on the counter with a 'Thud'. He then snatched the bottle opener again and repeated...

* * *

1 hour and 9 beers later, Finn was drunk off his ass.

He managed to drag his intoxicated body to his bedroom where he threw himself face first down on the very firm (Too firm to be exact) mattress. He began mumbling aimlessly about her, saying he loved her, missed, her, wanted to hold her in his arms again, kiss her senseless, make love to her again.

_Didn't I do this to forget? Didn't I move here to get away from her? Then why does she still haunt me?_

Finn rolled off his bed and onto the floor. He slowly but steadily picked up his massive, drunk body off of the floor and stumbled over to his dresser.

And sitting on top of his dresser was a little black box.

Finn lazily tried to turn his lamp on, but kept missing the switch, he finally turned it on and stared at the box. He reached out to grab the box but he was trembling, not cause he was intoxicated, but because he was afraid of what laid inside of the box.

He hadn't opened it in over a year.

He flipped the top of the box open and a small noise escaped his mouth, Inside of the box was a small silver band with one of the tiniest diamonds on top of it.

Still trembling, he picked the ring up, turned it over, and read the words engraved on the silver band.

"Finn and-" his voice started to crack, he didn't know if he had the strength to say the next word.

"Rachel."

His eyes burned with tears when her name escaped his lips, he was now breathless. It seemed like a lifetime to Finn since he said her name, he usually refereed to Rachel as "She" or "Her". He closed his large hand on the tiny band and fell backwards onto his bed.

He had tried so hard to get over her, why couldn't he do it? Would he ever reach the twilight of getting over her? Would he ever be Finn Hudson again? And that's when it hit him.

He was **Never** getting over Rachel Berry.

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**A/N2: So tell me what you think, should I continue or not? I know I'm not the best writer in the word. And I know I will frequently make spelling/grammar/punctuation errors.**


	2. Drizzle

**A/N: Sorry it took 10 days to post, Teachers have been relentless with the homework :(. but hey, this chapter is longer than I first speculated so :D. no seriously this is like 1000 words more than I thought it would be. so tell me, what would you like best? a flash back chapter to a certain point in Finn and Rachel's relationship? or another chapter that involves Finn's life in Alaska. I'm going to do both eventually, just wanted to know which one you'd like best. **

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Twilight_**

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**[June 21st, 2013]**

Rachel laid there, sprawled out on her sway couch piece, looking up at the ceiling fan whirl round and round inside of her apartment on the Upper West Side of New York. Her eyes would sometimes fixate on a single blade and just follow it with her gaze, She was planning to just watch it until she fell asleep. She pressed her nose down to the collar of the dress shirt that she was wearing and let the unique and intoxicating scent fill her nostrils. Her fingers trailed downward on the buttons of the shirt, she couldn't even imagine how many times her fingers have unbuttoned this shirt. She let out a slight moan as she imagined what laid beneath the shirt almost every time she opened it. It was a very soft shirt, she could see why he liked it so much. In fact...

It was Finn's favorite dress shirt.

She took it from his dresser a couple of days after he ran away.

_After he ran away from me._

Rachel began to feel nauseated from eating too much rocky road ice cream (She knew that wasn't the reason her stomach was aching, and she tried to ignore the _real_ reason.) She rolled her body around to face the TV were she was watching _Funny Girl_ for the 4th time that day, she was going for the record. To say she felt pathetic would be an understatement, Crying like a 4 year old throwing a temper tantrum, watching a sad movie, and eating a tub of ice cream, all over a boy _she _broke-up with. To say that would be the worst decision of her entire life, now _that _would be an understatement.

But she was only trying to do what was best for Finn, she was doing it because she loved him, and he deserved a good future for himself, even if that future didn't involve her. Finn had a chance to go to college in Lima, although it wasn't exactly the best college in the world, it would give Finn the opportunity to get an education and a good job. Were as if he followed her to New York, he would be pumping gas, and isn't that the future he specifically told her he _didn't_ want?

Rachel closed her eyes and began to imagine Finn, she curled up in her blanket and visualized Finn cuddling with her the way he used to after they made love, his strong arms wrapped tightly around her waist, his big muscular chest exerting heat onto her face. She started to melt as she imagined him giving her his famous lopsided grin that showed off his dimples so well. And _Oh_, how she missed looking into his warm, innocent eyes.

She was brought out of her trance by the loud and obnoxious knocking on her door. She groaned loudly into the empty room, pressed the pause button on her remote, and got up too see who was outside her apartment. She mentally cursed the architects for putting the peephole on her door so high up, thank god for her ballet classes that allowed her to easily stand on her toes. When her eyes focused on the figures outside of her door she groaned inwardly.

It was Kurt and Mercedes.

Both Kurt and Mercedes were attending Juilliard University. Kurt was attending because of his very soothing soprano voice that caught the attention of Juilliard's Alumni from his performance at Regionals in New York their junior year. Mercedes had come along way from her sophomore year (Despite the fact that she refused voice lessons from Rachel time after time) she had a lot more control over her voice and her vocal range had even expanded a bit. Rachel toned the diva act down a notch after her fling with Charice her junior year (Seriously, how can you fit that much Diva in an even smaller package than Rachel was?) and it almost ceased to exist her senior year. And as a result, Kurt and Mercedes seemed to do the same. They had even managed to become good friends (After Kurt stopped criticizing her wardrobe.) And the group became even closer when they found out they were all going to New York together.

Normally Rachel would be excited to see them, but not today. Today she just wanted to be alone, eat her ice cream, and watch _Funny Girl_. So she decided just to sit still, and wait for them to go away. Another knock came, this time louder. She could tell that now they were both knocking with all their might.

"Rachel, we know you're in there!" Kurt yelled, it came out loud and clear even through the apartment's thick walls.

"You were supposed to meet us for dinner at Sardi's at Nine!" Mercedes stated in her usual sassy way.

_Oh crap_. She was supposed to call them to cancel their plans together, but got too caught up in her own self-loathing to do so.

Rachel stood there next to the door, holding her breath as if they could hear her inhale and exhale. She closed her eyes and chanted to herself for them to leave. A couple of seconds later she heard them stir outside.

"Fine. If you won't invite us in, we'll have to do it ourselves," Rachel let out her long-and well needed-breath. not even a second later, the door nob began to turn. The door swung open forcefully and she was met face-to-face with a furious Kurt and an aggravated Mercedes with her arms folded and a repugnant look on her face.

There faces softened when they noticed her appearance, Wearing a dingy pair of short-shorts, Large and wrinkled button-up dress shirt. Even in the darkened apartment, she looked pale and it was apparent to both of them that she had been crying.

"Rachel," Mercedes said sympathetically as she stepped forward. "What's wrong, hot mama?" Mercedes placed her hands on her shoulders, Rachel looked down, not wanting them to see the apparent tears that were falling.

She finally swallowed the lump in her throat and muttered "Nothing, I'm... I'm fine," She jerked away from Mercedes grip and made a beeline over towards the couch. Kurt sauntered over and sat down next to Rachel.

"Rachel, we heard you missed your show tonight," Kurt threw out there, placing a protective arm around her shoulder.

Rachel had a radiating smile plastered on her face for a whole month after she received the role of Roxie Hart on the Broadway revival of _Chicago._ Although she thought she could do the part of Velma Kelly far more justice than she ever could with Roxie, The director of the show didn't give her an opportunity to audition for the role. partially because the role had been filled with an actress who was already well-respected in the Theater Community, Rachel knew a victory when she saw one, and she wasn't about to complain about a main character role on a famous musical such as _Chicago_. But there was a catch though. Rachel had to cut and dye her long, shiny brown hair, blonde. At first, all Rachel could think about was how the hair dye would damage the roots in her hair, then she realized it was a very, very small price to pay for her career.

But all she could think about when her hair was being chopped off, when her hair was being exposed to the harmful liquid.

All she could think about was Finn complementing her on her long, shiny, brown hair.

"I felt ill," Rachel masked her voice to make it seem like her throat was congested. Both Kurt and Mercedes didn't buy it.

"Rachel," Mercedes began, walking slowly towards the couch, and chuckling a bit before continuing "You had the flu back in December for 2 weeks, and you didn't miss a single show,"

"That's only because I didn't want that tall, perfect nose, blond, _Katie_, to steal _my_ spotlight," Rachel said her name like swear. Rachel had worked her perfectly toned buttocks off to get on Broadway, and she wasn't about to let some dumb blonde harlot to take that away from her.

"It's true," Kurt shrugged "Whether you like her or not Rachel, you have to realize that she is very talented. Which is exactly why you can't give her an opportunity to perform, especially on a Friday night show,"

"I know, I know," Rachel sighed "I'm going to be able to make both shows Saturday, I'm just feeling down today, that's all," Rachel whipped her head around so they couldn't see the tears still beckoning to fall.

_Okay this is weird_, Kurt thought to himself._ Rachel is not one to keep things to herself, she didn't even ramble on about how Katie's vocals are sub-par or anything. I haven't seen her this depressed since..._ _No, it can't be..._ Kurt pulled out his iphone from his new designer jacket to check the date, his heart nearly pounded out of his chest when he read the date that the small device shined. Kurt turned back to look at Mercedes with a horrified look on his face. Mercedes just stood there and mouthed "What?"_, _Kurt looked back at Rachel with his mouth wide open. He placed his hand on her shoulder and Rachel turned around, with tears in her eyes_, _to meet Kurt's gaze. Kurt eyed the dress shirt she was wearing curiously.

"That was Finn's dress shirt, wasn't it?" Kurt said silently, he looked up to meet her eyes again to say the last part of the sentence. Rachel sobbed as she closed her eyes and let all the tears she was holding back roll down her cheeks. Kurt drew her in for a hug as Mercedes came from behind and sat down next to them and joined them in a crushing group hug.

* * *

About 30 minutes later, Rachel had composed herself and Kurt and Mercedes were sitting on the couch adjacent to the one Rachel was laying on.

The Finn subject was something they all avoided, All Kurt and Mercedes knew was that Rachel said something, something that really, _really_ hurt Finn. Bad. And that she regretted every word of what she said. Along with her reasoning for breaking up with him in the first place (Which both of them thought was very idiotic.)

"So tell us," Mercedes prodded, taking a sip from the soy coffee Kurt had brewed up in the kitchen "What did you say to Finn that day?" Mercedes finished, solemnly. Rachel lifted her head up slightly off of the plaid pillow it was laying on.

She could feel her eyes welling up as she thought about what she said "I can't... I can't repeat what I said that day. You guys would despise me if I did..." Her voice trailed off. Kurt and Mercedes knew better than to reopen that still healing wound. So they backed off.

"I really thought he was going to propose to me," Rachel said sadly.

"What?" Kurt sputtered.

"It was apart of my plan," Rachel said shyly

"Leave it to white girl to have a plan on how her man is gonna propose," Mercedes commented sarcastically. Rachel eyes darkened, and it was obvious that she was glaring at Mercedes.

"Ugh, sorry, continue."

"Thank you, now, as I was saying," For a moment there, Rachel sounded like the huge Diva that she was sophomore year. Both Kurt and Mercedes admired her for not letting the Big Apple change her at all. "My plan was to schedule a bunch of auditions the first few weeks in New York, while Finn went job hunting. After we both got healthily paying jobs, and we finally got used to the living with each other, I was hoping Finn could save up and buy me a ring, nothing fancy, just a silver band that's all..." Mercedes could tell she was imagining every little detail of how Finn would propose, If they were still together.

As Rachel was imagining the proposal scenario (And most likely the wedding and honeymoon too.) Mercedes phone vibrated, she pulled it out and saw it was a text message from Kurt.

**Kurt:** Should we tell her about the ring?

Mercedes looked up at Kurt who was humming 'Single Ladies' under his breath. She rolled her eyes at him. Kurt found out about the ring one day when he was looking for his new and very expensive hairspray. He found Finn in his bedroom admiring the ring, and Finn later explained to him with a goofy grin that he was planning on proposing soon. The ring wasn't just a silver band. It was a golden one with a small diamond on top. It had taken Finn all summer to conjure up the money to buy the ring. And of course, Kurt likes good gossip peace, so he just had to tell Mercedes.

Mercedes quickly texted him back.

**Mercedes:** It would break her heart all over again.

Mercedes glanced over at Rachel who was still too busy imagining Finn to notice that she and Kurt were texting.

She found solace in her memory's of Finn, she looked peaceful, it was the happiest they've seen her in a while. Rachel was good at putting on a show face, no, she was _excellent_ at putting on a show face. But if you didn't catch her looking from time to time, you could see slightest bit of dullness in her brown eyes, sadness, grief, regret, her eyes said it all.

Mercedes leaned over and whispered "We should go," sadly into his ear. Kurt nodded and stood up.

"Well Rachel," Kurt began, Rachel jumped slightly after she was abruptly brought out of her day dream. "We outta get going, we've got to be at the beauty salon at 8 in the morning, sharp." Rachel stood up and muttered a "Bye" before Mercedes hugged her and gave her a welcoming "Call me if you need someone to talk to" Kurt hugged her afterwards and a few minutes later, Rachel was alone in her apartment.

She heard a faint noise coming from outside, she walked over to the window and saw it was raining. _No_.

It was Drizzling.

She shivered.

For a second there, she thought she heard Finn say her name. Not in the usual cheery way he used to, He said it sadly, softly, like a prayer.

_It was just wind._

And with that, Rachel trotted to her bedroom, where she fell asleep to the sound of the rain, the drizzle. From time to time she could hear his voice faintly saying her name.

**"Rachel..."**

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**A/N2: so what did you think? Review please. **


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